Okay. It occurred to me in the last week that there is a lot of layers of generations hanging around at my house. It takes the term "sandwich generation" to a whole new level. Now, mind you, my mother is not old, in terms of old, and she is certainly capable of doing most everything on her own, and to say that she is independent would be the understatement of the century, however, she still needs me. She does not like to admit it, but she does. And, I need her too - accept I admit it. Openly.
And, someday I plan to be there for her when she needs me more. Which will happen.
Then there is my teen-aged mother of a daughter. She amazes me on a constant basis with her independence and capability as a parent, but the being a teenager part is still a work in progress. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but it is true. The part of her that had to grow up in order to face the terrific challenge placed inside of her, did grow up. However, the part of her that is a 17 year old, officially SENIOR in high school, is still just that...a 17 year old, freshly minted, in-coming SENIOR in high school. She can sit down, nurse her baby, give him a bath, change his diaper, diagnose any cry he has, and bark parenting orders like a true professional. Then, she can run out the door and be as goofy as any teenager out there. It is pretty amazing, and almost confusing to watch...and I am not the one living it. However, I am the one who has to parent this confusing creature, and it is a trip.
I am the one that is encouraging her to show her inner teenager - I mean I know that she has a baby, but I am not ready for my baby to grow up, and I am definitely not encouraging her to skip straight to adulthood. It is almost like that decision that many parents have to make about sending their child to Kindergarten, except, I have had to decide if I am going to assist her in maturing naturally, with a non-traditional twist, or if I am going to put coals under her and force her into adulthood, where she will undoubtedly fail for a long time before she succeeds.
I think I got caught in the trap of thinking that just because she made a very impulsive decision that landed her with a lifetime of commitment, I had to put her through the "Rush to Adulthood Boot Camp." Our society, for better or worse, puts young mothers into this, and it is almost expected. But, I propose that this may be why there is such an issue with young mothers who abuse their children, turn to abusive relationships, either with men or with drugs and alcohol, or simply stay on welfare for their entire lives. Just like the five year old who may not be ready for Kindergarten, I have come to the conclusion that my 17 year old is not ready to be an adult. So, what does one do about that? I guess one sits at the parenting steering wheel and just holds on tight to the fact that this is going to be an interesting ride...
Baby amazes me every day. He gained a pound again this week. He is a sack of sugar and a bag of M & M's...all sweet, all the time.
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