It started on Tuesday at 10:00 pm and ended at 5:28 p.m. on Friday...and it was worth every minute. Our Braden James was born into the world at 5:28 p.m. and he flutter kicked himself all of the way out! He was 6 lbs 8 oz and he is 19 inches long. And, I believe that to look into his face is looking into the face of an infant that I never got to see until now....his Mother. He has her square little face, her turned up nose, the worry line on the right side of her brow, his disproportionately large feet and tiny little chubby toes are just like his Mommy's, along with his ears - where every part is just like hers, all the way down to the tiny little earlobes and little crook a the top of her ear. And he has her soft, brown hair, and the start of her long eye lashes....AND...the one thing that he did NOT have was the cleft in his palate....Thank Goodness!
He does have a darling little cleft chin...a gift from his Daddy.
Letting go of my little girl and acknowledging the fact that she is...and has to be a young woman...has been extraordinarily difficult. I have grown to know that I have not had to give up on
my dreams for her, but instead I have had to arrange and actually ADD to them. But I was not and am not ready to have her grow into adulthood. it is overwhelming to me to acknowledge this forced maturity...I am so proud of her and so completely sad about the fact that she is growing up so fast. It is the most turbulent set of emotions I have ever experienced.
I have to say that another trait that Braden and his mother share is that male role-models will be imperative. Braden will need to follow in his mother's footsteps and watch the important men in his life show him how to grow up to be a fine, faithful and productive member of his society. He will need to watch these men who have been so good about showing his Mommy about responsibility, integrity, education, and most-importantly, faith. He will need to learn to accept the fact that things are not always the way they are in story books, but families come in all shapes and sizes.
I have had one of the absolute best times of my life and one of the absolutely most terrifying experiences of my life. I have learned what unconditional and immediate love looks like when it is being observed in it's purest level. I have been as proud of my daughter as I have ever been and I have seen with my own eyes what it is like when someone is trying to do the right thing, when they are not sure that they really want too.
I also know what it is like to go for six days with only six hours of sleep. Therefore, I am going to bed.
More later.
Welcome to the world my precious Grandson. AND......WELCOME HOME!!!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Spin Cycle?
I found my daughter sitting on the washer during the spin cycle. She said that she read on the Internet that this simulated a bumpy ride and she was interested in getting the labor show on the road....I offered to put a load of shoes in.....
She will be 39 weeks on Thursday. To say that she is anxious would be the understatement of the century. We are ready for this baby. We are VERY ready for this baby. I do know that he will come when he is ready, but can't he be ready?
So, we continue the wait.
Today my daughter went to the hospital to visit a friend who had a baby yesterday. She held him and tried to feed him. It was the very first time she had ever held a small baby, or tried to give a baby a bottle. She came home in absolute awe of the experience, but for the very first time, and believe me when I say this, for the very first time, she was scared. She is so brave and unafraid of everything that is put before her, but the experience humbled her.
But, she was ready, and excited for the challenge.
We will be alright Braden. Let's get the show on the road. I think I will go do some laundry......
She will be 39 weeks on Thursday. To say that she is anxious would be the understatement of the century. We are ready for this baby. We are VERY ready for this baby. I do know that he will come when he is ready, but can't he be ready?
So, we continue the wait.
Today my daughter went to the hospital to visit a friend who had a baby yesterday. She held him and tried to feed him. It was the very first time she had ever held a small baby, or tried to give a baby a bottle. She came home in absolute awe of the experience, but for the very first time, and believe me when I say this, for the very first time, she was scared. She is so brave and unafraid of everything that is put before her, but the experience humbled her.
But, she was ready, and excited for the challenge.
We will be alright Braden. Let's get the show on the road. I think I will go do some laundry......
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Grandma has quit nesting. Now the Grandma is very AWAKE!
I think that the compulsive need to clean has passed. I am settled in our new, improved, digs and I besides the long-standing urge to do laundry, I am actually able to settle down a bit at this point....yes, I realize that this is the calm before the storm. At any rate, anyone who knows me well knows that when I am nervous, I do laundry. I don't know if it is because it is some kind of instant gratification, or if folding clothes settles me, but I love it. My daughter has to sometimes remind me that she actually needs to wear the clothes before I wash them...
But, with the calm has come the total inability to sleep. Now, mind you, I have never been a very good sleeper. If I get between 5 - 6 hours per night, it is a good night, but 2 - 3 is ridiculous. I have read every entertainment magazine published in the last six months, and I can give really good advise on how to get out most any stain. I know that there are old episodes of almost every sitcom on in the middle of the night, and I also know that the systems at my work is very fast in the middle of the night and one can really download a lot of reports at about 4 am. My daughter gets up about every 45 minutes to go to the bathroom and she actually seldom wakes for these events. She has always been a sleepwalker, so I supposed that I should not be surprised by this.
I know that I could get some assistance with my sleep, but until things happen around here, I do feel that I should be coherent at all times. I am thinking that a groggy labor coach would be a little scary...
I also know that I will probably not sleep afterwards either, but believe-it-or-not, I think that I will be able to sleep better when he is finally here and the whole labor thing is over.
I do realize that it must be very difficult for a man to watch his wife, or for a partner to watch their partner have a baby, but I also believe that when one is set up to be the primary support person for their own daughter, it is a totally different thing entirely. The absolute love of my life, for whom I would take a bullet or jump in front of a train for is going to be doing something very painful that I cannot save her from. The ultimate role of a parent is to protect and I am not able to protect her from this.
I know that it is going to be a great outcome, but the getting there is going to be quite a ride. But, ready or not, it is going to happen.....
But, with the calm has come the total inability to sleep. Now, mind you, I have never been a very good sleeper. If I get between 5 - 6 hours per night, it is a good night, but 2 - 3 is ridiculous. I have read every entertainment magazine published in the last six months, and I can give really good advise on how to get out most any stain. I know that there are old episodes of almost every sitcom on in the middle of the night, and I also know that the systems at my work is very fast in the middle of the night and one can really download a lot of reports at about 4 am. My daughter gets up about every 45 minutes to go to the bathroom and she actually seldom wakes for these events. She has always been a sleepwalker, so I supposed that I should not be surprised by this.
I know that I could get some assistance with my sleep, but until things happen around here, I do feel that I should be coherent at all times. I am thinking that a groggy labor coach would be a little scary...
I also know that I will probably not sleep afterwards either, but believe-it-or-not, I think that I will be able to sleep better when he is finally here and the whole labor thing is over.
I do realize that it must be very difficult for a man to watch his wife, or for a partner to watch their partner have a baby, but I also believe that when one is set up to be the primary support person for their own daughter, it is a totally different thing entirely. The absolute love of my life, for whom I would take a bullet or jump in front of a train for is going to be doing something very painful that I cannot save her from. The ultimate role of a parent is to protect and I am not able to protect her from this.
I know that it is going to be a great outcome, but the getting there is going to be quite a ride. But, ready or not, it is going to happen.....
Friday, April 8, 2011
Centimeters? Good thing we did that metric system thing in 5th grade!
In 5th grade, we measured a kilometer by using a meter long stick and chalk, from the Junior High to the High School in the little Iowa town of my youth. It was a slow day for education, I guess. But, I am SO THANKFUL for that education now, because they measure the cervix in centimeters....I am convinced it is because they believe that if people are not as familiar with the measurement, they may not be as freaked out about it. But.....I am here to tell you that if they measured it in something very familiar, like the circumference of a Snickers bar, or an Oreo cookie, I would be equally as freaked....just saying.
My daughter is now almost 2 centimeters dilated. She was a "fingertip" last week. So, it is growing, or else you have big fingers, then I guess it is just a matter of opinion.
She had her very first contractions on Monday and if it is any indication of how full-blown labor is going be...it could be interesting. She developed a severe headache and got sick to her stomach.....for a bit we thought it may be the "real thing," but then it went away, almost as quickly as it came....
My daughter is a very active person and there is no slowing her down at this point either, even though, I am convinced that for the first time in her whole life, I may be able to at least compete with her in a foot race. She did take the dogs to their park today, and tried to play a few holes of frisbee golf.....she said that was less than a successful endeavor. It is hard on her not to be able to exercise the way she is used to exercising.
We made our last trip to Target today. I do not think there is anything else we could possibly need. Today, we finished off with a mobile and some plain white onsies - so as to compliment the plethora of colorful tops and sweaters....the teenager in her comes out once in awhile, especially when she talks baby wardrobe....he will be well-dressed, and bless him if he is not coordinated. I keep reminding her that everything should compliment the color of baby doo. She does not think I am funny.
Have I mentioned that my daughter has NEVER changed a diaper? Nor has she EVER held a baby that was less than about three months old. I know that she is a quick learner and she will do fine, but I am actually looking forward to being in the front row for all of these firsts....I will have my own set of firsts, but I have had the honor of holding and caring for very young infants, and I have changed plenty of diapers in my time. I could put a big shout out to my cousins Monica, and especially Charlie, for giving me this precious experience from an early age. I have always loved babies and I was "the babysitter" for many children....my daughter has never babysat anyone less than school-aged. This is going to be interesting....
We are ready. We are waiting.....the clock is ticking.....anytime after next Wednesday would be fine....come out and play Braden!
My daughter is now almost 2 centimeters dilated. She was a "fingertip" last week. So, it is growing, or else you have big fingers, then I guess it is just a matter of opinion.
She had her very first contractions on Monday and if it is any indication of how full-blown labor is going be...it could be interesting. She developed a severe headache and got sick to her stomach.....for a bit we thought it may be the "real thing," but then it went away, almost as quickly as it came....
My daughter is a very active person and there is no slowing her down at this point either, even though, I am convinced that for the first time in her whole life, I may be able to at least compete with her in a foot race. She did take the dogs to their park today, and tried to play a few holes of frisbee golf.....she said that was less than a successful endeavor. It is hard on her not to be able to exercise the way she is used to exercising.
We made our last trip to Target today. I do not think there is anything else we could possibly need. Today, we finished off with a mobile and some plain white onsies - so as to compliment the plethora of colorful tops and sweaters....the teenager in her comes out once in awhile, especially when she talks baby wardrobe....he will be well-dressed, and bless him if he is not coordinated. I keep reminding her that everything should compliment the color of baby doo. She does not think I am funny.
Have I mentioned that my daughter has NEVER changed a diaper? Nor has she EVER held a baby that was less than about three months old. I know that she is a quick learner and she will do fine, but I am actually looking forward to being in the front row for all of these firsts....I will have my own set of firsts, but I have had the honor of holding and caring for very young infants, and I have changed plenty of diapers in my time. I could put a big shout out to my cousins Monica, and especially Charlie, for giving me this precious experience from an early age. I have always loved babies and I was "the babysitter" for many children....my daughter has never babysat anyone less than school-aged. This is going to be interesting....
We are ready. We are waiting.....the clock is ticking.....anytime after next Wednesday would be fine....come out and play Braden!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Did you say DIALATED?
Today marks 36 weeks and one day of pregnancy. That is nine months. Yes, that is nine months. We now go to the doctor weekly. The OB/GYN politely suggested that we should have the crib up and the car seats installed. She also mentioned camera batteries, and a packed suitcase.
I should have mentioned medication...not so much for my daughter, but for me. I am thinking that when they give my daughter the epidural, I will ask for one too - right between the eyes.
For those of you who have gone through this before, you will know this, but since we are both rookies at all of this, humor me. Today, she had to get "checked." This will happen weekly now. And since the baby has started "swimming towards the light" in the last week and he has moved from cutting off her oxygen by residing in her lungs to now bouncing on her bladder, the doctor was "curious" about the progress.
Our OB/GYN is a wonderful woman, be it very young. She is a recent graduate, local woman, who is very professional, interested, patient and the perfect fit for my daughter. But, she is young. My daughter loves her and trusts her and that is all that matters, but honestly, sometimes she makes me giggle.
I think she is a bit afraid that I am going to freak out on her or something....she tries to be very calm about everything she says, in kind of a not-so-calm way. For example, today when she checked my daughter, she seemed kind of surprised to discover that there was some change to her cervix. She got this funny look on her face and said, very quietly.... "OOOOOOH. I felt his head." Then she said, "things HAVE changed and that is a GOOD thing...........are you ready? Do you have a car seat?" After I restarted my heart, I kind of said, "we are ready, I guess, but we would like to not have it be until about the 15th....that would be good.....to which my daughter interjected, "anytime after the 12th....." The doctor just nodded and said, "I would like the 21st, but we don't always get what we ask for. What are you doing next week....I hope she makes it to her shower (HER SHOWER IS SUNDAY).
So, the saga is in process. And at the end of the day, we have another appointment in one week. And we sure hope we are there, for you see my daughter has a college entrance exam on the 11th - so she can use the post-secondary option all of next year....and she has to take her math MCA on the 12th.
SO....A conversation with Braden:
Baby Braden, this is Grandma.....We cannot wait to meet you, but the doctor said that you were probably only about 4 and 1/2 lbs today and we need you to grow for a couple more weeks. Mommy needs to finish just a couple of things, then she will be ready for you. You have been SO GOOD so far but please, remember that GRANDMA is a very patient person, unlike your MOMMY, so you need to listen to GRANDMA in this situation. The sooner you learn that the better. THANKS BRADEN and I LOVE YOU....no matter when you come....but patience is a virtue and it is still kinda cold outside anyway, so you will be much warmer in there.
I should have mentioned medication...not so much for my daughter, but for me. I am thinking that when they give my daughter the epidural, I will ask for one too - right between the eyes.
For those of you who have gone through this before, you will know this, but since we are both rookies at all of this, humor me. Today, she had to get "checked." This will happen weekly now. And since the baby has started "swimming towards the light" in the last week and he has moved from cutting off her oxygen by residing in her lungs to now bouncing on her bladder, the doctor was "curious" about the progress.
Our OB/GYN is a wonderful woman, be it very young. She is a recent graduate, local woman, who is very professional, interested, patient and the perfect fit for my daughter. But, she is young. My daughter loves her and trusts her and that is all that matters, but honestly, sometimes she makes me giggle.
I think she is a bit afraid that I am going to freak out on her or something....she tries to be very calm about everything she says, in kind of a not-so-calm way. For example, today when she checked my daughter, she seemed kind of surprised to discover that there was some change to her cervix. She got this funny look on her face and said, very quietly.... "OOOOOOH. I felt his head." Then she said, "things HAVE changed and that is a GOOD thing...........are you ready? Do you have a car seat?" After I restarted my heart, I kind of said, "we are ready, I guess, but we would like to not have it be until about the 15th....that would be good.....to which my daughter interjected, "anytime after the 12th....." The doctor just nodded and said, "I would like the 21st, but we don't always get what we ask for. What are you doing next week....I hope she makes it to her shower (HER SHOWER IS SUNDAY).
So, the saga is in process. And at the end of the day, we have another appointment in one week. And we sure hope we are there, for you see my daughter has a college entrance exam on the 11th - so she can use the post-secondary option all of next year....and she has to take her math MCA on the 12th.
SO....A conversation with Braden:
Baby Braden, this is Grandma.....We cannot wait to meet you, but the doctor said that you were probably only about 4 and 1/2 lbs today and we need you to grow for a couple more weeks. Mommy needs to finish just a couple of things, then she will be ready for you. You have been SO GOOD so far but please, remember that GRANDMA is a very patient person, unlike your MOMMY, so you need to listen to GRANDMA in this situation. The sooner you learn that the better. THANKS BRADEN and I LOVE YOU....no matter when you come....but patience is a virtue and it is still kinda cold outside anyway, so you will be much warmer in there.
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