As most of you know, my daughter is adopted. She was born in Russia and spent the first two and one-half years of her life in an orphanage. She did the best that she could in a dark, musty building in the middle of a pretty big city surrounded by 23 of her best friends. She lived for the 20 minutes on the hour potty training, and the borsht and bread meals. We spent almost a month trying to convince the staff and government that we truly did love these children when we got home and we did not sell their body parts...really, the concept of unconditional love and acceptance was not understood, by many, many people we encountered.
A side-effect of this phenomenon for me was the invention of the "C.H. Moment." This is the "if the Children's Home could see me now" Moment. The "C.H. Moment" can best be described as the instances that occurred throughout my daughter's life that literally stopped time for me. I would watch her doing the things that she loved - sports, playing, being with her family and friends, and something that I cannot describe would come over me. I would imagine what it would be like if I could stop time and show those people who did not understand....the gift that I was given. And, I wanted them to see that she was thriving, with most of her body parts (and, just for the record, I did not sell the ones that are missing...quite on the contrary). "C.H. Moments" would come at the oddest times....in the middle of a swim race, when she was dribbling the basketball down the court, when she was jumping on the trampoline, when she drove out of the driveway in her car for the first time, and even when she ran into the house with a good report card. The moments jumped out during those pivotal times in her life...baptism, confirmation, 5th grade graduation, and even her first day of high school. But they come every day too.
Truthfully, I have not thought about "C.H. Moments" for a very long time. I think the emotional struggles of the past year put that whole thought process away for awhile. I did talk to the adoption agency when my daughter was about six months pregnant and I was somewhat surprised to hear that teenage pregnancy is not uncommon with adopted children. It seems that that issue of reaching for someone who is truly bound to you by blood is something that is sought by many. And, even though I am convinced that this was not the factor that took my daughter to this place, I do believe that it was a part of the picture.
Three weeks ago, the thought of "C.H. Moments" came rushing back. My daughter made the decision to quit swimming, and believe-it-or-not, it was a big deal for both of us. Many "C.H. Moments" came out of swimming. In her prime, she loved it. She thrived on the camaraderie....and so did I. She tried to like it, but from the beginning of practice until the end, she looked at the clock and wanted to leave. She started to chose not to attend practice, and she was not regretful - only sad that she did not miss it. For me, it was one more thing that had to change....and end. There were lots of tears.
Today when I came home from work, my daughter was sitting doing her online Math class, while talking to Brady, who was chatting away in the exersaucer. She kept making him giggle and he was just grinning from ear to ear.....I had a GIANT "C.H. Moment!"
